In the previous article, I have listed the knowledge base and mental preparation that needs to be done. Are you ready? (Click here to see the previous article)
The development of a regular routine is divided into two articles.
This one will talk about the general principles of regular work and rest and some misconceptions that we tend to have.
In the next article, I will focus on some specific problems encountered in the process of practice and how to deal with them, as well as share my son's work schedule.
Part 1. Some misconceptions
Before I talk about regular rest, I will talk about some of the misconceptions that tend to prevent us from having a regular rest.
- The misconception of demand-based feeding
Demand feeding is often mistaken for "If your child is crying, he or she is hungry, so feed him or her when he or she is hungry!"
This is the parent's assumption that the baby knows best how much to eat and when to eat, thus rejecting any form of regular guidance.
At the same time, demand feeding uses "crying" as a signal to feed, and when a baby cries, he needs the comfort of food rather than other forms of soothing.
And this is particularly easy to verify in newborns.That is, when the child cries
The "boobies" are definitely tried and true.
This reinforces the misconception that babies need to be fed on demand.
And the truth is: demand-based feeding can be applied to the first 15 days of a newborn's life, not to the entirety of his development.
After a regular routine is established, what your baby should do at each point in time is expected.
By then, you will know what your baby needs before he cries and meet him promptly and accurately. The baby's mood is stable throughout the day.
- Hunger and sleep cycle misconceptions
Random feeding style, often not fixed child feeding time. Random feeding of the child, so the child's digestive system is always in an unstable state.
You will find that sometimes you feed an hour or so, the baby does not actually eat much, and it will not take long for him to cry for milk again.
The worst part is: baby's sleep time is also shortened because he or she has to get up to breastfeed.
The specific manifestations: very short daytime naps, multiple night wakings, and the need to breastfeed to solve the problem.
This "snack milk" keeps the baby in a state of dissatisfaction and turns him into a "high demand" baby.
If the baby's routine is regular, his hunger pattern will be stable and his digestion and metabolism will be regular.
Regular feeding during the day is closely related to sleep patterns at night. When your baby's time between feedings during the day is slowly lengthened.
At night, he will sleep longer automatically.
Adequate sleep is very important for your baby's growth and development.
A baby who is 8 weeks old is capable of sleeping through the night without breastfeeding.
(PS: I said capable, not must reach the level of weaning by the 8th week).
So that's why a regular routine is a prerequisite for nighttime weaning.
- Parent-child relationship as the center of the family and child-centered parenting
Many times once a child is born, the parent-child relationship becomes the most central relationship in the family.
A family is very easy to form a child-centered parenting style, mom, dad, grandparents all around a small baby.
Therefore, it is very easy to create conflicts over parenting and to use the excuse of love to deprive your baby of the opportunity to grow up independently.
A harmonious couple relationship is the first priority . All other relationships must be subordinated to it!
The baby comes into the family as a new member. It is not the center of the family.
What you need to do is to let the baby adapt to the rhythm of your life as a couple. Not all members of the family to adapt to the baby. Your baby needs a family!
So before you raise your children in a regular routine, please take your couple's schedule and the space you need into account.
With a strong relationship as a couple, other family members play a supporting role and not a dominant one!
Part 2. E.A.S.Y pattern
The most basic pattern of regular work and rest is the E.A.S.Y pattern.
E (eating) meal time
Newborn babies from 15 days to full term: the interval between milk consumption is usually 2~2.5 hours, and the milk is fed about 8~12 times a day.
Babies from 1 to 3 months: the interval between eating milk is generally 2.5~3.5 hours, and they are fed milk about 6~8 times a day.
4~9 months old babies: the interval between meals (including milk and supplements) is generally 3~4 hours, you can start to wean at night, and eat 5~6 times a day.
Babies over 9 months old: they can eat with adults during the day, 4 times a day, and there is no need to eat night milk at night, if they still eat night milk, it is usually an emotional need.
A(Activity) activity time
Newborn babies who are not yet full term: each waking time is about 20~40 minutes, including the time for diaper changing.
1~3 months old baby: each waking time about 1 hour.
4~6 months old baby: 1.5~2.5 hours per waking time.
Babies over 6 months old: 2~3.5 hours of wakefulness each time.
S (sleeping) meal time
Newborn babies not yet full term: total sleep 16~20 hours, naps 4~5 times during the day, 1~1.5 hours each time.
1~3 months baby: total sleep 15~18 hours, daytime naps 4 times, each time 1.5~2 hours.
4~6 months baby: total sleep 14 hours, daytime naps 3 times, 1.5~2 hours each time.
7~12 months baby: 12~14 hours of total sleep, 1 nap in the morning and 1 nap in the afternoon, 1.5~2 hours each time.
Make sure you give yourself some time and space alone and don't lose your life because of your baby.
Part 3. Establish a regular schedule
There are several points in the table that need to be noted, as follows
- The first milk in the morning and the bedtime milk (marked by the right number) must be fixed, which is to fix the baby's biological clock during the day and night.
- The specific time in the sample table is for reference only, you can change it according to your own habits.
- The activities for each interval of waking time are flexible and can be arranged by yourself.
- This routine is suitable for babies from 15 days to 60 days, and when babies adapt to this routine, you can slowly extend the transition to the next stage.
Part 4. A few general principles
- the order of eating, playing and sleeping must be observed
The most crucial thing in the early stage of regular work and rest is the order of eating and sleeping, that is, to cut off the connection between eating and sleeping.
Before 3 months old, it is easy for your baby to fall asleep while eating. You may not want to disturb your baby's sleep, but you will find that he will wake up and cry for milk soon afterwards, and you will not be able to stick to the 2.5 or even 3.5 hour feeding interval.
This leads to a vicious cycle. It is difficult to develop a reasonable and regular routine. And it will lead to milk sleep, frequent night waking, and poor rest for both mother and baby.
The essential reason is, babies drink milk when they are not awake, and often they can only eat until they are half full. It is quickly digested during sleep and cannot play happily at all. After eating milk, the baby falls asleep again. The energy that should be consumed during the day is not consumed, and at night it is difficult to sleep.
Tips to prevent your baby from falling asleep while eating.
--Scratch your baby's palms, feet and the back of his neck when he is fast asleep.
--Change the side of the feeding, and burp at the interval of the change.
--The big trick to keep your baby awake: changing diapers. You can put the diaper change after the feeding so that your baby can wake up and move around before going to sleep.
- Daytime naps must be taken seriously
The good or bad daytime naps directly affect the baby's mood and sleep at night.
Daytime naps can best be between 1.5-2 hours for a single time.
Daytime naps can present the following two problems.
--Single naps are too long. If your baby is not awake after 2 hours of sleep, it is important to wake him/her up. Because once your baby takes a single daytime nap of more than three hours, it's very easy for him or her to lose track of the day and night! He will mistake the daytime nap for a long sleep at night, and at night, he will be late to sleep or wake up frequently with excitement.
--Single nap time is too short. This is often the case when feeding and sleeping are separated when a regular routine is implemented. It is difficult to put the baby to sleep and wake up after 20-30 minutes of sleep, and it is difficult to put the baby to sleep again. It's easy for the elders to come over and say, "The baby is awake, she's had enough sleep, let's stop sleeping and have some fun". At this point, you must firmly believe that your baby has not slept enough! He just woke up in the process of switching from light sleep to deep sleep, and what he needs is to stay in bed! Although it can be very difficult to put your baby to sleep again (also known as "continuing sleep"), don't give up on continuing! Otherwise you will find that your baby is easily irritable and cries a lot from 5pm-11pm.Here sometimes colic is the cause.Here sometimes colic is the cause. But sometimes it is also due to tiredness, irritability, difficulty in playing happily and difficulty in sleeping calmly due to lack of sleep accumulated from morning to afternoon.
An article will be dedicated to tips on how to put your baby to sleep.
- The whole family agrees with the regular routine and works together to accomplish it
The implementation and adherence to a regular routine is not something that can be done by the mother alone, but must be done by the whole family.
For example, if your baby just shows signs of sleepiness, whoever is teasing your baby should stop immediately and put your baby to bed in sleep mode. And if a family member does not cooperate at this time, still not willing to let the baby go to sleep, but also let him play. The difficulty of putting the baby to sleep is at its highest when the baby is sleepy to the point of annoying crying. It is easy to cause the baby to cry and cry until the next feeding time and still not sleep, the baby will be more sleepy and irritable. Or fall asleep at milk time, resulting in the next eat play sleep can not be carried out smoothly. Thus entering a vicious circle.
- Each time interval can have half hour flexibility
The regular routine is not a military management, not cold and strict to a minute can not be changed.
In fact, the regular routine can have half an hour of flexibility.
Let's take an example. Your baby is on a 2.5 hour feeding interval routine, but he's already crying by the 2 hour mark. Do you let him cry for half an hour and insist on breastfeeding until 2.5 hours? No. If it's already past 2 hours, of course it's best if he can hold on a little longer, but if he can't, you can totally feed him.
This will happen in the first week or two when you are just starting to establish a regular routine. This means that your baby's digestive system is in a state of adjustment. After the transition period, it's as if your baby has an alarm inside him. When he starts to make a mess, you look down at your watch and see that it's been exactly 2.5 hours, no more, no less! That's how amazing it is!
Then later, through the schedule, before he makes a fuss, you can look at him with one look and know he needs to feed/sleep/change his diaper. He doesn't need to mention his needs through crying at all anymore. Slowly he will even express his needs in other more interesting ways. (My son expresses his needs through a special grunting sound when he wants to drink milk.)
Of course, if he has slept for more than 2.5 hours before he has to get up to breastfeed, you can also let him sleep for half an hour more to 3 hours to breastfeed. If he often appears to be over 2.5 hours before he wants to nurse. Congratulations, you can already automatically adjust to extend his rest time to the next stage: 3 hours interval!
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