It is the ultimate dream of mothers to let their babies fall asleep on their own, but most babies are not able to fall asleep on their own after birth, so putting them to sleep becomes the biggest problem.
As we can see from a lot of experience sharing, mothers who successfully put their babies to sleep on their own basically put their babies to sleep in bed: from patting to sleep, white noise, pressing hands, and introducing soothing objects to slowly transition to sleeping on their own.
How to climb out of the two biggest pits of baby's sleep problems, namely cuddling and milk sleep, becomes the most important concern of mothers!
How do you change the way you put your baby to sleep? A mother today to in-depth analysis of two changes to the way to put to sleep, I hope it will help mothers.
There are 2 types of ways you can use.
1、Quick results type
Of these two ways, the fast-acting way means that the child will cry more during the adaptation period. It requires the mother to have a better mental capacity, to stick to the principles and to solve the problem quickly and immediately. And it is more suitable for babies who are already very regular in their routine and more adaptable from 3 months old.
The step-by-step approach means a longer adaptation period for the child and more recurring situations. But it is relatively more flexible. The mother can adjust it according to her heart's acceptance. It is suitable for the stage when the regular routine is still not very stable and for small babies under 3 months old, babies with weak adaptability and relatively stubborn babies.
Before you choose one of these two methods, you need to assess your own mental expectations and tolerance, as well as your baby's adaptability. You can find the degree that best suits you in both ways and use it flexibly.
Before using these two ways, please make sure the following two things first.
- Your child's regular routine has become more stable.Biological clock has been developed, to the point of sleepy. You can judge the sleep signals in time to catch the best time to put him/her to sleep. If you do not have a regular routine, please first regular routine, you can refer to this article: Is sleep guidance wrong? Why don't I see the effect?
- Clearly know the principle of lulling to sleep.The key point is: emotional smoothness and distraction. You can use your imagination to play freely, or you can learn more ways to mix and try. In short, it is to use any other way you can think of besides saturation feeding to calm the child's emotions and distract him/her.
You can review this article on the principles of putting your baby to sleep.
Two methods are described in detail below.
The fast-acting method is generally applicable to babies who have been working regularly for more than 3 months. And mothers who have good mental ability and want to change bad habits as soon as possible.
The fast-acting method can be said to be very simple: "grit your teeth and stick to it".
Quit sleeping through the breast
When you don't want to nurse your baby to sleep, make sure he or she doesn't fall asleep during feeding time! Eat the full amount of milk at feeding time!
Stay awake for at least 5 minutes after feeding before going to sleep. If your child is sleepy, put him/her to sleep in another way, or change to someone who cannot breastfeed. You will find that in the first three days, there is no other way, just "grit your teeth and insist", after three days your child will show that he or she is slowly adapting to the new way.
Quit cuddling sleeping
When you do not want to cuddle to sleep, please first regular work and rest to open the work and rest. This is very, very important!
After that, reduce over-stimulation and teasing 10 minutes before your child's bedtime, according to his schedule. Put him to bed and let his moods calm down. Take advantage of sleep timing. Try intervening with white noise, pacifiers, soothing wipes, pats, etc. Stick to these ways to put him to sleep! Even if the child wakes up in half an hour, insist on this way to receive sleep. There is no other way to do this than to "bite the bullet". For the first three days, you may find that your child can't fall asleep after 30 minutes of patting, or you may take 30 minutes to put your child to sleep again. As a result, the child will sleep for 5 minutes and then wake up hungry for milk. These are all too common in the first 3 days. But you will find that slowly, the child needs to be patted and coaxed for shorter and shorter periods of time, 30 minutes, 20 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes ......The first thing you need to do is to get rid of the patting and fall asleep on your own. You'll know how cost-effective your previous "gritted teeth" is.
Yes, you need a watch next to you. You will find that when your child is crying, the time will become so long. It feels like your child has been crying for 10 minutes, but when you look at the watch, it's only been 2 minutes. "Days are like years, seconds are like minutes" best describes the stress in the mind at this time. But that's how new habits are formed. Throwing away the previous comfort zone, coming to a new environment, adapting and falling in love with the new environment, it will certainly take time. Fortunately, babies have a poor memory. For old habits can quickly forget, adaptability is also stronger than adults, like new and old is a common characteristic of children. When you "grit your teeth" and prepare for 10 days of hard work, you are surprised to find that your child only needs 3 days!
It is important to emphasize that you were not advised to use the "cry immunity method" from the beginning to the end! Your child is crying and you are not allowed to let it go! What you need to do when your child cries is to determine and analyze the cause, especially during the sleep stage, and use other soothing methods besides feeding and cuddling to distract and calm the child. You can look at these two articles to help you think about the judgment.
People are always inert. Anything can be done in order not to think. Stuffing milk to gag the child. Pick up and shake and walk or even deep squat. Solve that single cry. This is the easiest and most brutal way to do it without thinking and judging. It works in the short term, but what about the long term? How old do you want your child to be? How long can you keep doing this and keep from getting tired and anxious? Do you want to be like going to war every time it's bedtime, crying and fighting for hundreds of rounds?
The reason for gritting your teeth now is to get your child to fall asleep on his or her own as soon as possible, and to ensure the length and quality of sleep. When your child is able to fall asleep on his or her own, you will find that not only does falling asleep become easy and comfortable. The child is in a great mood throughout the day, and the child will not cry and cry every time he or she goes to bed, and the mother can do it without anxiety to rest well.
3. Step-by-step method
Of course, if you are an extremely sensitive mother. The level of acceptance of crying is very low. The child's regular routine is unstable and the age is small. Then I suggest you use the gradual method.
Using the gradual approach requires you to have excellent patience. The time to effect is bound to be much longer, but these take care of your emotional receptivity.
Quit sleeping with milk.
You can try to introduce a pacifier, because most of the milk sleep is accompanied by cuddling. So you can start with the transition change by cuddling and coaxing only for a while. In order to ensure that the child sleeps for a long time when picking up sleep, night lulling can first retain the milk sleep. But to consciously reduce the number and frequency.
Quit hugging to sleep.
The heavier degree of holding sleep is not only to hold but also to walk while shaking. What's more, there are those who suggest the deep squat method. That is, holding the child to do deep squatting (I really do not know how much the person who invented this method and the mother and child have a grudge, is how much they want to prohibit the child to cry, prohibit the child to sleep well in bed? The use of this method is tantamount to quenching your thirst and burying the problem in a hurry. Let the problem have time to take root, and when your problem grows into a "cannibalistic flower", it will be much more difficult to eradicate it than it is now!
The first step is to reduce the amplitude and frequency of other movements while you hold your child! Don't squat anymore, take two steps at most and forget about it. Believe me if you let the child rely on squatting, and so the child slowly heavy, sooner or later you can not afford the day, when it is more difficult to change up, the child cries more volume, crying for a longer time.
The second step, after 2 days, do not even walk, only quietly hold. At this point, introduce other new means: tapping, white noise, pacifiers, soothing wipes, etc. Give the child 2 days to establish a connection between the new maneuvers and sleep. At this time, you can also hold the child with a layer of blankets between you and put him down with a little less movement.
Step 3: Reduce the amount of time you hold. Do not wait until the child is fully asleep before putting down, put down when the child is calm and confused. Continue patting, white noise, and soothing objects while putting down. This step may take many repeated attempts, the first day is expected to end in secondary failure, by the second and third day, there may be one or two successes, stick to it for a week, basically you can do it before the child is officially put to sleep in bed. (If not achieved, consider whether you compromise too much in the process, too soft-hearted?) When putting the child to bed you can be careful to put the child's bottom down first, then the head.
The fourth step is to not hold them at all and to pat and coax them directly. With white noise and soothing objects. If the child grunts and cries, you do not need to pick up, just continue to insist on patting and coaxing. If your child is crying out of control, you need to pick him up immediately to soothe his emotions. Put him back to bed when he is stable (i.e. pick up and put down method). Remember, your hold is only used when the child is out of control and needs to be soothed. Your child should still sleep in bed!
I chose the alternative in the process of changing to cuddle sleep. Specific hands-on tips can be found in the following experience posts.
The process of changing the way of putting the baby to sleep was really torturous. But get over it and adjust your child's sleeping style. You will find that you and your child's mood will be greatly improved throughout the day!
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